Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Guest post: Fall Return


It is my pleasure to introduce to you John Caruba, a true Chicagoan, and his memoir essay “Fall Return” - the first guest post on Life On the Go. It is as much of a memoir story as it is a travel adventure.

Fall Return
by John Caruba  

It was an ominous-looking Autumn day. The crisp cool October wind whirled through the trees: Nature’s original leaf blower was in full force.

Whitecaps cast highlights on the waves that rhythmically rolled rapidly onto the Shore and crashed into the sea walls. Reluctant to face the elements, yet fueled by the passion of necessity, we headed down to the harbor for the fall trip to take the Panache back to dry dock.

We boarded the Islander 36 and began to make ready for our journey. The procedure, similar to pre-flight check-in aviation was quite methodical. First, the Shore power was cut, and the power cable was neatly wound and placed in its designated hold. Next, all of the lines were brought in and secured. This was followed by the engine start, radio check, life preserver check, placement for easy access, and a final check on weather conditions on the lake.

The marine forecast promised a steady rain and choppy seas with waves up to six feet. We untied the docking lines and disembarked to verify firsthand the validity of that forecast. It was accurate!

As we headed out of the harbor, a light rain began to fall, and the small wind-driven droplets stung my bare exposed skin like scorpions. We cleared the mouth of the harbor and ventured out past the breakwater. The waves increased substantially in height and intensity challenging our sea legs, our fortitude, and our courage. Periodic swells washed over the hull and across the bow, violently jostling us about.

When we rounded the point at Navy Pier a strong gust of wind took command of my cap and blew it into the raging sea. I struggled to pull the hood of my jacket from underneath my coat over my head. Tying the cord below my chin while steering us through the chop was quite a struggle. Maintaining my balance while standing at the helm proved most challenging at times, particularly in the larger swells.

We had now past the 31st street harbor; the last remaining port of refuge between our original dock and our destination some 20 nautical miles away with about 10 miles to go. The only crew I had on board was my good-hearted neighbor who had responded to the post I had placed on our condominium bulletin board. She was seeking adventure. This was only her second time out on the Panache and her frightened expression screamed louder than the four words I knew were spinning around her head: “What was I thinking?”

As we continued our journey, Iliana started anxiously anticipating our arrival, keeping a close eye on google maps. As she charted our progress and kept me apprised, hope and optimism slowly displaced fear and uncertainty. At last, we passed the breakwater at the entrance to the Calumet River. Just beyond the breakwater, the lake calmed, the winds subsided, and we watched in wonder as the first draw bridge was raised to allow us passage. After passing the second bridge we pulled into dock one final time that Fall.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

404 Page not found... or how I gave up Facebook



May be it was a coincidence, or may be not,  but in the quiet evening of 1st of January 2013 I noticed that I had 404 Facebook friends. The geek in me giggled -  '404 Page not found'. And that's when I quit Facebook. Why? I had outgrown it.

I joined Facebook in 2007, just after another relocation - a friend suggested it as a mean to keep in touch. But I didn't have a use for it. I had only moved a couple of hours away, so I preferred to visit my friends on the weekend, call them or email them. And they did the some for me.  I also had a blog, so had anyone been interested in my adventures there were plenty of ways to find out what I've been up to. I soon made new friends in the new city, and Facebook was completely forgotten.

But then I moved overseas - the UK turned out not to be my cup of tea, work was challenging, for some reason I was failing to make new friends, I was miserable. My good friends were miles and miles away, and in different zone, so even calling and Skype were not working out.  So I wrapped myself with the Facebook blanket, craving attention and comfort. I evolved from venting bitterness and disappointment, through irony, to optimistic and fun posts. My friends and Facebook saved me.

Then I moved again, this time to a place I loved, made new friends immediately and life took off! But  I remained active on Facebook because I wanted to be there for my friends. In case anyone needed TLC, I wanted to know and to help, or if all was o'right it was always great to share a joke or two. Facebook was the place to share photos, plan the next party, find fellow expats, etc. etc. It was great!

Another twist came around - I saw the 'Social network'. Something in the way Facebook started, in the way the business part of it developed did not agree with my moral values. Let's Face it - Mark started it all because he was heartbroken, he wanted to do something big, and yes, he did it, but if it was all so altruistic why is Facebook now the way it is - changing layouts (supposedly for good), replacing your email address with a Facebook one (tricky, tricky!), now suggested advertisement links, free Apps, 'paid for' promoted post? To me it seems like Facebook is way pass its innocence, it's not the site to connect the people, but it's the site to learn about the people and ultimately try to sell you something. Well....Thanks, but NO, THANKS!

At the same time, people on Facebook changed...
A lot of my friends who have an active life withdrew from Facebook - why? because altho it's fun, it's also a waste of time.  Instead one can read, take on a project, hang out with friends in real life, do sports, enjoy a hobby, take a nap, have a beer.

I admit that in the first weeks after I relocated again recently, checking Facebook was the first thing I would do in the morning. I love my friends and I do want to know what everyone is up to,  have a laugh over a goofy post. 

But also, more businesses are promoted, more bragging take place, and once I heard someone say 'I only post on Facebook to make my friends jealous' I had to bite my lips.  'You are kidding, right?' - because I refuse to be in the same bin with such shallowness. Many of my posts are positive and sharing happy moments, but I have about equal number of humor-coated bitching. My life is NOT perfect and nor is any of yours. So, who are they getting jealous?

Another irritating fact - I know a couple of people who joined Facebook just because their partners are there. One is the jealous type and feels better keeping tabs on the 'other half'. The other, who I know as a shy and very private person, out of sudden became a social butterfly with a public profile showing tons of affection to their loved one. Seriously?! If I trust my judgement of people, then these last two need help. One more story, a sad one. A good friend of mine and their partner were madly in love with daily 'I love you' on their walls. And I mean it - daily! Then one day, the 'I love you' was substituted with change of status to 'Single'. Overnight?!

Finally, not a too serious comment, but perhaps it speaks ton of how humans behave... 
If you change your FB profile photo with that of another FB friend of mine, I would probably not notice the name, I would glance at the photo and 'trust' that I'm talking to the right Face...Hahaha!
I was just about to email the wrong person for that reason... two of my FB friends, a couple, have profile photos of both of them, so I tend to think it's the wife who post more often...Well, live and learn! Instead of  'read the fine print', I'd say - read who's name is next to the photo :)  But then again, we can change our profile name too...Sigh...is there an end to it? 

So I gave up...
Facebook to me is turning into a Fakebook!
If you want to know how I'm doing - send me an email, read my blog, comment on it. And if I want to know how you are doing - trust me, I will find a way to reach you :) 
It takes more time to keep in touch via email, but I believe it's worth it,  communications are more private and meaningful. 
As for Facebook - I will keep my profile open for a while (to transfer photos, gather everyone's email, etc.) but 404 Page not found is bound to happen!

ps. Photo from http://www.webdevelopersnotes.com


Friday, January 25, 2013

Australia

Remember the poll I had on my blog?

Will I move yet again to another country, and this time...to Australia?

Well, now that I am already 'down under', here is the story... coming out just in time for 26 January, Australia Day.


The truth is, when I first posted 'Let's play' and the poll along with it, I was driven by pure childish curiosity :-) What does Life have in store for me? Back in October 2010 (hard to believe that more than two years have passed since then!) I was madly in love with a young man whose big dream was to move to Australia. I sincerely wished him that his dream come true. But if so, what would have happened to me? would he ask me to join? would I go? after all, I had just followed my own dream - moving to the Netherlands, and I was so incredibly happy... 



There is no way I could have foreseen that the romance would crack and that I would lose my job shortly after, that I would be unemployed for an entire year, that my spirit would weaken and I would apply for jobs wherever there are, just so I can support myself again. At the end, I landed in Australia - just like that, never seriously thinking it would happen. 

They say 'God moves in a mysterious way'...I'd say, life happens in a mysterious way, at least that's how my Australia story unfolds... 

Saturday, June 09, 2012

One happy day of my life

Today was a Saturday and here's how it rolled... Woke up at 9, housemate still asleep. Took a shower, dressed up and headed out. At 10:30 I met my friend Liz, who's visiting from the UK. I've known Liz for most of my time in UK, but the friendship was born on my last day in UK, over beer, at my going away party. We spent two and a half hours at my favorite DE cafe, happily chatting away, catching up on stories and discussing the future.
It's then time to walk home, pick up my housemate Hector and take him to the train station. Lucky chance and a bit of craziness brought us together, we shared my flat for two months, now he got a job and is ready to fly the coop. I'll miss him.

Next to the station is another favorite of mine - Cafe de Olivier. There Liz quickly makes friends with the pub cat, .
Liz and I philosophy about life over bitterbollen, downing two Orvals and a Brugse Zot. Lekker! It's close to 3pm, and it's finally time for her to head to Amsterdam. We hug and promise to meet again soon...we only don't know where...
Next I meet Susanne - I'm initiating her into my 'Saturday routine': Having a coffee and buying fresh flowers every Saturday morning (it's always morning somewhere). With two big bunches of peonies in hands, we decide to be adventurous and try a new place for late lunch. Mammoni turns out a success! Food is great and conversation too.
Finally I head home to put on my brand new orange dress and go to my neighbor's where we are watching the NED-DEN game of the EuroCup. I arrive minutes before the game starts and I'm still the first of the guests. We drink beers, watch the game, play with their toddler.
At 23:00 I go home and Skype my sister. Then get ready for bed...after two months I'm sleeping again in my Hastens bed.
I call it a happy day! Seeing my friends, being myself, doing the simple things, smiling and feeling at peace. Loving it!

Friday, May 04, 2012

Birds, moon, tea and anxiety

My 'to do' list has been too long for too long. I decided to take a 'day off' and do nothing, but an overwhelming sense of anxiety took over. A self-protection mechanism, I guess. Three things helped me cope with it -
...the sight of a flock of birds in a near by tree - graciously taking off, all at once (but not so graciously captured with my camera), so free and beautiful...
...the full moon peeking through the clouds, as if making sure all is ok with me...

...the company of a very special friend over a cup of tea - helping me forget all my worries and offering a hug of support and understanding. Of this a photo is impossible to take, but if it was, it would have been a really beautiful one.

ps. Apparently, the 5th of May was a super Moom, i.e. "perigee moon" :)

Sunday, February 26, 2012

A week in Auckland - a teaser



Up until 30 minutes ago my hair was still styled by the winds between Waiheke island and Auckland, and tiny grains of sand from Oneroa beach were still clinging to my skin. As much as I wanted them to stay with me and remind me of one of the most amazing sunsets I've ever seen...after about 30 hours of flights and airports, I needed a long hot shower.
Now the scent of sea is only a memory, and a gentle aroma of Shea butter soap is wrapping my body. But the Sun kisses are still all over my face and neck...the evidence that the good time in New Zealand was not just a dream, that the overwhelming lightness of walking Piha beach was for real. Far far and away, but real and so simply beautiful.

Stay tuned for the full story and pictures :)

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

A Real Thanksgiving - finally!


Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, but having lived in the US for a while and being a US citizen now...I couldn't help it but learn to appreciate Thanksgiving. It comes with less stress than Christmas - no presents, no cards to mail, but it is an equally lovely holiday to get together with family and friends, and simply sit back and relax... with plenty of food on the table, of course!
After 3 years abroad (with relation to the US) and no, the turkey nuggets at the Reading Movie Theater do not count as real turkey, I was already craving a real turkey meal for Thanksgiving and that's how it all started.
Steph, my Canadian friend and a passionate cook, and I started planing a cozy Thanksgiving dinner for 6, or 8, or 10 people ... at most. But one thing led to another and before we knew it we had a list of 20+ guests...Thanks to Pete and Ginger, an American couple with special 'connections', a day trip in the countryside secured a 21.45lb turkey and half that weight chunk of ham! Way to go!
For those of you who know me...I am not a great cook...nor am I keen on waking up early, especially on the weekend...but on that choosen Saturday, in the name of Friendship and Good times, I got up at 6:30am to heat the oven and start baking the turkey!
I went back to bed with the alarm set for an hour later, but the anticipation of having a real Thanksgiving bash and friends around kept me up. The rest is history! See the photos...
The Turkey cooked perfectly! Everyone brought some food, so we had tons of side dishes and deserts! And drinks! And happy people :)
And a Real Thanksgiving - Finally!

Beer Tasting Party - Reloaded


Beer Tasting Party 2010 (The Original) took place in October 2010.
Because of its success and attendees' interest the Beer Tasting Party returned! :)
But what is a Beer Tasting Party?
In a nutshell - everybody brings 3-5 beers - as exotic and rare as possible! Then we try and enjoy the variety of 'liquid gold'!
For the full story...click HERE

This year's facts:

Beers emptied : 116
Smallest beer : 250ml
Biggest beer : 2 liters
Lightest beer : 3.5%
Strongest beer : 11.3%
Attendees : 26 people and 2 toddlers (the little ones did NOT drink!)
Average beer intake : 4.46

Beer came in glass bottles, cans and one plastic bottle.
The list of names is long, but worth mentioning 'Tasty Lady' and 'Iki' :)
There was beer from Poland, Czech Republic, Bulgaia, Greece, Germany, Italy, Japan, Spain, Jamaica, The Netherlands (rather large variety!) and...of course, BELGIUM!
Special guest was Bart Van Kuik's Home Made Brew! Tasted by many and liked by all! :)

Goof up: 1) A beer from last year's party was kept in my fridge - sentimental value (Praght's Extra Stout). Well, it was not spared :) Pieter claimed it tasted well! O'right then! As long as ambulance is not needed ;-)
2) Poor Birsen traveled to Brussels for her beer contribution...only to find out she has to be in Paris on the night of fun and beer ;-)

Cheating: Quite a lot of cheating happened this year...4 bottles of wine, 1 Bacardi Black, 1 Bombay Gin...but the Liquid Gold Gods are forgiving :)

Closing line:
Dear friends, thank you all so very much for joining the party with genuine enthusiasm, specially selected beers and the perfect attitude for a good time! It was a night to remember and it will be remembered! :)

Photos: Click HERE

See you in 2012!
Cheers!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Making friends...yet again

( This post is dedicated to Fleur who gently reminds me it's time for another post )



No matter the reason...you've recently moved. You've moved to a different city, state, country or continent. You've settled more or less now and as much as you enjoy your own company...you start feeling like you want to have near by friends to do fun things with, spend time with, have a drink, share a hobby.
But how do you make friends...yet again?
Where do you look for the people you would have things in common with?
How do you approach them?

I started writing this post some time ago, from an expat's point of view.
But recently my cousin changed her job and the city she lives in, staying in the same country she grew up in, and a few months later she asked me: 'I start to feel lonely in my new city. You always have so many friends. How do you find them?'
So, it's not just the expats... :)
Truth to be told, I do have many friends.
It's a dream come true, as when I was a child I was very shy and I was often avoided in school.
Now I treasure my acquaintances and friends!
They are my quintessential survival tool as an expat!
They make the world smaller and cozier.

So, here is what I can share 'dissecting' my Face Book Friend's list...and, of course, I have more friends than that :)

About 1/4 of them are former/current colleagues who have become friends of mine.
Another 1/4 are people I met through friends. Friends of friends is the easiest way! But what if you are the new kid on the block?
I hope you find this useful -
I have made 16 friends on Couch Surfing (hosting, surfing, CS events),
15 friends at MeetUp (and similar) events, 12 at Language classes, and 10 while traveling.

CouchSurfing, MeetUp and Language gatherings are best for expats and especially if you are not exactly an extrovert and outgoing person! You could surf with or host people who are similar to you, or attend local CS event to meet the city gang.
MeetUp groups could be dedicated to a hobby, particular sport, food... you name it! And if there is no group in your city, you could start one!
Language classes - not only learn the language of your choice, but meet people with interest in the same culture, or if you are already expat ... meet other expats.
Travel - this is my specialty! I like to chat up people while traveling and before you know it - you have a friend - in a pub, on the plane, in the dorm, on a boat ride...

The rest of my friends are a colorful mix of college-mates, relatives, people I met at community events, etc. The key is - get out, get exposed...you won't make friends by staying home. Unless of course you throw a party and you ask your friends to bring along someone :)
I recently saw a guy in the park - he chatted up a girl, they were both reading books, 2 meters apart...a simple conversation about the weather, origins, travel was followed by exchange of phone numbers.

Some less usual ways of meeting people and making some of my best friends - the guy who's toddler spilled milk on me waiting for my flight, the lady I rented a room from, the nurse in the dermatologist office, my realtor, a couple of on-line dates, the best friend of an ex-BF, the GF of the guy I had a crush on, and a 'one night stand' who somehow turned into a great friend for many years now :)

All it takes is an open mind, a smile and a simple 'Hello!'
At times you would have to repeat it. It takes some patience and a chance to find the people to click with. But it's worth it! I think I have been lucky many times...but then again, I am always open to a new friend and that favors the odds.

Here are some useful links:
www.MeetUp.com - global site for local gatherings
www.CouchSurfing.org - global site for travel-lovers
www.InterNations.org - global site for expats and locals networking events

If you are in the Netherlands, try:
http://www.britsoc.nl
http://www.iamexpat.nl
http://www.insego.com

Good luck! :)



Sunday, June 26, 2011

One amazing weekend!



I have to! I have to recap this w/end. Because it was an amazing one!
It was so colorful and diverse - in terms of weather, cities, things I did, emotions I felt, but most importantly - the people I was surrounded by, literally and virtually! And in hindsight, I loved every moment of it!
The weather - nice and warm when I left Utrecht, rather chilly Friday night in Groningen, quite rainy Saturday, and lovely sunshine on Sunday - everywhere I went.
The cities - Zwolle, Groningen, Amsterdam and Utrecht.
The events:
- Super awesome Swingin Groningen Jazz and Soul Festival - with Benny Golson, Candy Dulfer, Kraak & Smaak, Billy Cobham quartet, which lead to a MeetUp / CouchSurfing gatherings and drinks with Mannus, Muhsin, Indiana, Koos, Mike, Anna, and Erik. I loooved the Benny Golson performance! Reminded me of the great times in Chicago, and further back in time - learning about jazz with my boyfriend Alex and my friend Ivo, and even further back - listening to jazz for the first time as a child on a short wave radio with my Dad. Sweet! I also enjoyed the more dancing jazz and soul tunes.
- A stroll through Groningen in the rain, with Mannus - including discovering a quaint square by the University, an eclectic photo exhibit, a lovely garden, a backgammon game (I won!)
- A delicious Dim Sum brunch with Ray in Amsterdam which turned into a leisurely stroll along canals, across bridges...sneaking bravely into the Grand Hotel to check the Marriage Chamber - ignore the name, it's an amazing hidden art-deco gem!!! Also played the piano in the hallway! Yes! Popped in a great chocolate shop (you knew I love chocolate, right?), the ever so inspirational RoB shop, De Jaren for drinks...did I miss anything? Oh, I laughed a lot!
- Going away dinner with the Fantastic Four (well, Five now) - Vero, Paul, Isabel, Mette, and Markus. A bit sad to see some friends moving away, but good to know one has good friends!
- Phone call with a dear friend of mine - loved to hear her laugh!
- Skype chat with my parents - poor they! Had not called them in a while! Guilty! :)
- A group Reiki energy exchange - with people from the UK, Ireland, Russia, the Netherlands, US, and Germany. I am so at peace now!

Excerpts of a random conversation:
'How long were you with your last boyfriend?'
'I don't measure relationships in terms of time, but in terms of intensity.'
'So how intense was it?'
'It made my every body cell alive!'

'How far do you usually travel to work?'
'These days distances are measured not in kilometers, but in hours...so 1-2 hours.'
'And how long would you travel to meet a girl?'
'As far as it would make me happy.'

Today I woke up with a sense of sweetness from life - for the first time in a couple of months. I smiled and smiled and smiled! Until it hurt, and then I smiled some more!

I found My Happy Place ...again!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Facing big decisions


"Don't worry, Mother! If the marriage doesn't work out, we can always get  divorced!" OK, I didn't say it quite like that, but it was close - I had just phoned my Mom to inform her of my decision to get married with my boyfriend from 4 years to which she replied "Are you sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

I loved him. And I loved him a lot. But I was becoming resentful at the way he didn't appreciate what we had, for not showing emotional support, for keeping some distance and not trusting me completely. It hurt me to find out that instead of talking openly with me, he called my parents and told them I don't care about him anymore. It was rather the oposite - I cared about him, but we could not see eye to eye. I was trying hard to succeed with my job (first job abroad after college), while he had just closed his business back home and was currently unemployed (for about 9 months) It was tough! I didn't know what exactly to do, but I knew I didn't like the current state of my life. Before too long, a friend asked me one day - 'So, are you guys getting a divorce?' My immediate reaction was 'Of course not!', but then I realized I'm short on breath and I felt dizzy. A second later added 'But I guess that's where we are heading...'. I hanged up as soon as possible. I had to think - was I really going to get a divorce? Was it happening to me? For real?

Some decisions in life will always be tough and painful - like breaking up with someone you love, deciding to get a divorce, or deciding to divorce second time. Some may not be easy, but won't be so emotionally taxing, like selling your first home or car. But often even positive events - moving to another city or country for that dream job, buying a house with your long term partner, having a baby - they put us to the limits of our comfort zone. Clearly a chain of events - could be short or long, is leading us to that point of making a decision, but the moment of facing the big decision...that's when I freese! And I'm sure many of you too.

I've tried diferent approaches. I'd pretend all is ok until one day I start loosing my sleep - my worries win. Or I will go wild - parties, alcohol, friends, random dates. Then I'll sit down with the legal yellow pad and counts pros and cons. Or go sit on a beach and listen to the waves until a solution emerges in my mind. And at times I will simply cry for hours. Ironically, they say that there are no signs on the most important crossroads in life. Not even your closest friends could know what's best for you.

Here is what I have learned in my life so far (and remind me to read my own blog next time I hit a speedbump!):
- Face the big decisions with respect to yourself and to others that might be involved.
- There is no need to wait for the situation to get as bas as possible before taking a step towards improving it.
- If the situation I find myself into is worse than the average level of happiness I experience in my life - something needs my attention.
- No matter how big the decision - most are reversible!
- Some decisions are scary because of how much money is involved in them - ask yourself if money is what you live your life for.
- Many times the goal behind a decision is much easier to reach than you think - be courageus, go for it! Trust yourself!
- Every decision, even the best one, is a result of your life experience up to now. Tomorrow you would have lived longer, know more and the decision might not seem as perfect, but it is still a good decision for right now.
- I could seek advice, I could listen to a shrink, but ultimately I make a decision myself, because I am the one to live with the outcome.
- At times a little patience helps to see the forest (or the trees).
- Often I have to let go of a little to gain a lot.

A few big decisions I've made over the years:
- Moving from Cleveland to Chicago - not many know this fact, but my first eight days in the States I lived in Cleveland,OH with my uncle. Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but it was not the life I was looking for. So with only $165 I moved to Chicago, staying with friends for while, learning the language and falling in love with the Windy City...before I got my first job and moved to Arizona.
- Divorcing my first husband while I still loved him - being civil when parting is so important. Till this day, although not often, we can still talk like grown ups and even share a joke.
- Leaving my easy job in Illinois and getting a challenging one in Madison, WI - I loved the city, I loved my friends there, I loved the job I had! Great time!
- Leaving my well paid job in UK and moving to the Netherlands for half the money, having so much fun! Even falling in love!!!

You see, in my books a life with no regrets is life well lived! And if not now...when?!! And facing big decision is part of it.
I'll leave you with something you probably have read already, but Mark Twain said it so well:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"



PS. The image I initially used when writing this post is Roy Lichtenstein's work, but the words I photoshoped. I simply couldn't find his other painting which had the comment on divorce. Appologies! And if anyone has Roy's painting with the mother and the daugther, pls, let me know. I'll be happy to put the proper one up.

PS2. I finally found the image I intended to use when writing this piece. It's now at the top of the post, and it comes from Douglas Coupland's "Generation X" - an illustration by Paul Rivoche.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Lessons learned from the IFFR at 80km/h winds


IFFR stands for International Film Festival Rotterdam. This is the Dutch version of the Madison's Wisconsin Film Festival. Movies from all around the world are shown for a week in various cinemas and it's a buzz event in Rotterdam. This year, for the first time, they had additional showings in Groningen too. On Saturday I went to see a couple of movies in Rotterdam with a CouchSurfer friend of mine.

The first movie we saw was The Eighth - it was advertised as a 'Bulgarian Western'. Having lived in Bulgaria for my first 26 year, I would not call it an 'western'. It was the typical 'partisan' movie from my teen years - the 'good' guys(the communist partisans), the 'bad' guys (the fascists), one minute long love story, and a lot of shooting followed by the good guy's victory. Seeing this movie in my late thirties, after living in US, UK and now the Netherlands, made me sad - we grew up so brain-washed, with a sickening sense for guilt and drama. Who needed it? Who was it good for? Why did we believe it? Questions I don't plan to answer here... but now I know better why I am the way I am...self-criticism and drama were big in the time of totaliarinism...and they still linger in my life! Well, time to change!!!

The second movie - Le trésor des îles chiennes. A Frech production. Well...we left mid-way through the showing. Enough said! One black and white movie was enough for the day! And not another depressing pointless plot - hunger for money, people manipulation...Eeeuw! With monotonic music boring into your brain to the point you want to scream! WTF! Who would enjoy that???

Lesson 1 learned - pick carefully the movies you are about to see (AND PAY FOR!!!)

The rest of the day was luckily a lovely time! My Rotterdam host gave me a very nice walking tour, and intro into Rotterdam's story and history, incorporating my favorite Erasmusen bridge, a few interesting monuments, a great Italian restaurant and a cozy bar when we chatted for a long time.
Thanks Erwin!
The 80km/h gales of wind did not stop us, they were strong, but warm and gentle too. I actually liked them being playful, messing my hair, blowing up my (rather short) dress, and blowing far and away the disturbing thoughts the movies brought up.

Lesson 2 learned - pick carefully your company!

Finally, to tell you the truth, I had already seen a couple of IFFR movies - Never let me go, Black swan, Another year...and they were much better choices...and free!

Lesson 3 learned - stick to what you know, stick to what you like, stick to who you are!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

My 2010 (a late Christmas missive)

If 2009 was all about travel - any length, any destination, any means of transportation, any fashion, just so to escape the 'killing me softy' English reality, 2010 was all about being THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. Being present, out and about, enjoying the reality I ended up in, a grand social feast for my body and soul, an abundance of new people, new friendships, new challenges, new job, new country…everything new and enticing! Every time I move, I get that kick of extra liveliness, extra curiosity, extra sturdiness, extra optimism…and this time all went well (for the most part!)

I started 2010 with a resignation letter. Three months of relocation buzz went by quickly. Between the many phone calls and wrapping up projects, in February I went to Tokyo for the Winds International Workshop - the return to Japan was such a delight. Meeting the good old faces of the winds community - awesome! Great food, great fun, unforgettable karaoke night!!! Asia always touches me in a very special way!


The last two weeks of March were an ongoing going away party - the nice speech from my boss, the attention and the presents from my colleagues, it was sweet to discover that despite my barely-there social live in UK, I had somehow managed to make a number of friends over only 18 months.



On the 26th of March, after a very special good bye dinner with my friends Maria and Tomas I hit the road , direction East, having slept very little, but energy-filled by the sense of freedom, and the enthusiasm, the happiness that I am moving to Holland, a country that had fascinated me all the way back since my time in college.
A couple of days on the road with my Toyota Aygo, crossing three borders and I get the message 'Welcome to the frog-land!' - a welcome sms from a Dutch friend :-)
Sunny lovely morning, 28th of March - I am at the door of my new home, Jan Van Der Heijdenstraat 27, Utrecht.
Let the new life begin! And it does! Full throttle!!!

With most of the moving boxes still unpacked, I am having my first visitors from US - Leslie and Judy. Two days later my Russian friend Nadia joins. We explore A'dam, Den Haag, the Hoog-Velweve and Antwerp. We also stroll and admire Utrecht for a day and celebrated Leslie's BDay. Despite the bit chilly weather, we are having a blast.


On the second w/end I went to my first MeetUp event - 'Gazing at the stars'. Stars we did not see, but I met my new friends there - Mette, Markus, Vero and Paul - the fantastic four! And some more friends…But what's most important … I met Bart. He was the tipping point of 2010! The following two and a half months were roses and honey. Party after party, going out on town, driving to the beaches, lazy afternoons in the park, exploring the country, enjoyng the city, learning to live the Dutch way, cooking, leisurely weekend brunches…yes, we dated for a while and it was a blissful time! But then we ended it, because it felt like it.


All along I did not drop off the face of the Earth for my other friends though - it was lovely to get visits from Roel, Francis, Kirsten, Liz, Stuart and Frances, Simeon, Maria and Tomas, my uncle George and Nasia, Nico, Matt… did I miss anyone? I experienced my first Queen's Day, which was a madness, but fun! I also did not stop traveling, but shorter distances - Rotterdam, Den Bosch, Amsterdam, Gouda, Cologne. In Cologne we had a tiny family reunion - my uncle and his girlfriend, my three German cousins and me - always so heartwarming!


The second half of the years came with a twist…
In the middle of a hot July night someone climbed my window attempting breaking into it…I woke up and screamed, he ran. Nevertheless, it was quite an experience - one that I was not prepared for. And it's interesting how fear kills logic, because the first person I called in that moment was my best friend Leslie … who lives in Washington, DC!!! Then my friend Bart came over, helped me deal with the police, etc., kept me company for a couple of evenings…and that's when I met Erik - Bart's best friend. It was an incredible night, perhaps the best night ever, although parts of it are still blurred in my memory. But as Shakespeare says, All's Well That Ends Well…and I believe we made the best of it…


On the next day my sister, who lives in Spain, came for a visit - and this was big! It was the first time an immediate family member is visiting me ever since I left Bulgaria back in 1999. We had a blast - old time memories were brought to life, we laughed out loud, we biked in the countryside, we let the rain get us all soaked like being little girls again…we shared stories…it was amazing! With her in town, we watched the final World Cup game in one of Utrecht's pubs. Spain won. We almost got into a fight about it…how funny!


The rest of the summer remained very social and busy. I flew to the States for a reunion with my closest friends, in a summer house, up in Minnesota…happy happy times! Another couple of days in Madison and Chicago with more friends made me feel so lucky, so blessed! Leslie and Eric, Pat, Nadia, Paul, Judy, Yeti, Rosi and Erik, Rumi and Itso, Paul and Nancy, Kate and Stephen, Steve, Chris…if words could only tell how much you mean to me! Right after the States I flew to Bulgaria to visit my parents and friends from college. It was great! Upon returning I found out my bike was stolen, but that's Holland, so that's the usual.



Back in Utrecht I had two weeks of visitors, from all over - US, Germany, Bulgaria…back to back. It was a bit hard to balance work and free time, but I managed. And in the middle of this social extravaganza, on September 1st… I turned 38.
It was by far, the most special, most intimate, most real Birthday I have ever had!!! Because I was in love, and my loved one was there with me!!! Thanks, E.! I was so happy! And my best friends were there too!


Later in September I went to Cordoba, Spain for a conference. Nice location, good presentations, fruitful networking, seeing some old colleagues and friends, 30 deg C warmth…Nice!!!
Visiting the Cordoba Cathedral was a magical experience…a place that gave me so much peace, a place where I felt so much love, where positive energy was all around… I promised to go back one day, with the man who made me feel alive this year - Erik. I also spent a very special day in Malaga with my friend Maria, I wish we had more time together.




In October I hit a bump in the road - I broke a foot. Had to spent a month at home and in bed. For an energetic person like me this was the worst of times. If it wasn't for my friends to come by and help, and keep my spirit up, every day, I would have gone nuts! Luckily it didn't happen and by mid-November I was back on track. I was having guests - Tom and Ivan, Robin, Sue, meeting with my friends - Roel and the others, making new friends - Cristiana, David, Steph, going out for a drink, taking the train to Groningen.


Even with the cast on I threw two big parties - a wine tasting and a beer tasting! In between catching up with work and my social life…Christmas season was here.



In December I ventured on a trip to London, for some Christmas shopping and to see my friends. Snow tried to rain on my parade, but I won! I'll spare you the canceled flights, delays trains and the frustration stories. Because despite of it all, I had a perfect time! It was actually many times better because of all the chaos!


My initial idea of a having a quiet Christmas spent in solitude failed. Surprised? Off I went to a few parties with new people, new experiences and new fun! But when it was time to put a proper end to a very very bubbly year, and to welcome the new 2011… I followed my heart and spent the last days of 2010 with the ones that matter the most - the man I love and the friends who were always there for me… Our plan was to have a cozy and quiet New Year's Eve dinner, with bubbles and nice conversations. But… once the fireworks started… it was a party time all over again :-) The Dutch folks love their firework!!!


To wrap it up…it was a wonderful year!!! A year to remember…with sweet times and with challenges, with real friends, with real love, with passion beyond control, with music, with discovering new worlds, trying new things, counting stars on two continents, dancing many nights away, waking up in the arms of your loved one…being yourself!

Having all these happy memories, I am facing the new 2011 and wonder…could it get any better? Of course it could :)
Happy New 2011 Year!!!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Beauty and inner tranquility



I had quite a month - a flamboyant January!
Normally to me, a month is a mere representation of the time encompassed by 30 days.
But this January had a life on its own! A wild animal which I failed to tame...
Absolutely cracking New Year festivities with dear friends were followed by some so intimate and heart warming conversations with my loved one, bonding culminating with the Solar eclipse on 4th of January. I was on the top of the world!

Then I found my apartment broken into and all of my high-tech gear gone. It took a few days to shake off the terror from the invasion of my privacy. Insurance is still handling my claim.
Another stressful week followed - should I stay or should I go...NL or UK...I exhausted my brain from weighting the pros and the cons. And I stayed.

The yoga marathon I wrote about a couple of blogs ago was a lifesaver. I switched to 'an anti-social mode', to save some energy, but I was already running on 'reserve battery power'. Nevertheless, true to the 'seize the moment' attitude, I enjoyed a couple of small social events when presented with the opportunity.

Next on the list - annual performance review at work. I passed, I even got a tiny pay raise.

And every evening, checking my email one last time before I go to bed, iCal will remind me that one more day has gone...for good. And all I could say I had done was to admit that I was falling inevitably behind - with everything. At the end, I got sick. Been with a cold for more than a week now...what a way to learn that sometimes one just has to stop and rest - rest my body, my thoughts, my emotions...

After a few days of sleep, my brain finally showed signs of life...I needed beauty!

Beautiful conversations with friends, beautiful thoughts about the future, even the beauty of things....it all brings me inner tranquility. Thank you B., W. and E. for being part of today!

I can not express the beauty of a conversation or someone's presence. So, instead I will share with you the beauty of three buildings to illustrate the inner tranquility I found today.

Santiago Calatrava is one of my favorite architects.
I have seen three of his works:
- Sondica Airport, Bilbao, Spain (photo by José Miguel Hernández)












- Twisted Torso Tower, Malmo, Sweden


















- Milwaukee Art Museum, Milwaukee, WI, USA



I think they are incredibly beautiful...and I can't wait for the Chicago Spire to join the skyline of the Windy City - my most favorite city, ever!

Does beauty bring you tranquility? :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Argentina kind of night

Travel Through Food Destination: Argentina

There are many things to appreciate in life, but good friends and good food are amongst my favorites. Put the two together and..a cold November night becomes a virtual trip to Argentina...and so enjoyable!
We chose to indulge our senses in Gauchos - a classy restaurant on the Oudegracht, specializing in Argentinian steaks.
But first some Malbec wine...full-bodied, but soft, it's the perfect conversation catalyst! Before we know it, we are laughing out loud (probably terrorizing a bit the couple on the next table).
Foreplay might be important for sexual intercourse, but when it comes to steak, I am going straight for it, no need to dull my taste buds. For the sake of variety, we order Bife De Chorizo and Bife De Lomo, with corn, fries, and house sauce.
Let me give you a piece of advice...once you taste a bite of Bife De Lomo, nothing else on the menu compares in tenderness, juiciness, and flavor! I am not a big meat
eater in general, but I could definitely tell the difference. So...don't sweat the 5 euro extra...just order the best!
The knife literary cuts through as if it's butter...Yum!
We take Ice-cream and mini-fondue for dessert. Not sure that's very Argentinian...but it's on the menu, so...
To wrap up the night in style, we stop by Zussen . Every Tuesday, they hold a Tango night...we pick our drinks and enjoy the dancing couples...conversation and laughter ongoing...completely forgetting the cold, the snow, and reality...it's an Argentina kind of night... :)


Monday, November 15, 2010

Christmas is near


To think about Christmas in July is probably a bit too early, but once September is over...there comes this time, and it is different every year, there is this special moment when I know it with all my senses that Christmas is near. It could be a song on the radio, it could be someone on the street wrapped in a soft scarf, it could be a cup of hot chocolate, or the scent of freshly baked cookies... something very clearly will draw my attention and it will make me smile...cause Christmas is around the corner! And Christmas is the time when everything is wonderful!
This year it happened on October 22, in the attic apartment of a special friend of mine.
I went for an overnight visit, we walked a bit through town, got some groceries, cooked dinner, ate, chatted, laughed, browsed the Internet together, listened to some music and went to bed.
The morning came seemingly like any other morning...shower, light breakfast, quickly going over out daily plans, sipping Tazo tea...and that's when it hit me...the feeling of Christmas - while the rain was getting stronger outside, and some wind was picking up too...inside the four walls of this apartment, I felt the overwhelming comfort of a daily routine, the joy of simply being myself with a close friend, the warm air coming from the radiators felt like a fluffy soft blanket I wanted to hide into, it felt so cozy, so peaceful...I didn't want this moment to end! It was magical, it felt like Christmas!

The smile is still lingering on my face...I'm making Christmas plans, I'm looking for Christmas cards, and a few presents too!
I am looking forward to a very happy holiday season, and sharing it with some of you!

babies - Part 2



Baby-girl Luisa (NL) arrived on 12 November 2010. Congratulations to Nathalie and Wilco!!!



Baby-girl Natasha (UK) was born on 9 September 2010. Congratulations to Carole and Robin!!!